What's Wrong With TNA?

Posted by Hunter on 6/20/2011 01:37:00 AM



Or TNA Wrestling or iMPACT Wrestling. Whatever you like to call. Remember back when TNA was a good wrestling alternative? Me too. We got to see stars like AJ Styles, Chris Sabin, Samoa Joe, and Christopher Daniels basically get molded into what they are today. They were the future of wrestling and very well could have helped carry TNA on its merry way. The six sided ring was a crazy concept to American wrestling fans. It was great for the lucha, young wrestlers who could jump around the ring and blow fresh air into our face while we watch John Cena win the WWE title once again. While the ring wasn't great for older guys or powerhouses, TNA wasn't really made for those types, but they managed to use the ring to their advantage. For example, Monty Brown made the Pounce seem like so more than just a shoulder block. Sure, Cena did a shoulder block, but did it look as powerful and as cool as Monty Brown's? No. Of course not. Even with the "loved" Vince Russo, TNA was hot and could have possibly been a threat to the WWE. What was the problem?


What, how could the Hulkster and Eric Bischoff change a company? Eric was a pretty cool heel GM on Raw and Hogan, need I say anything about Hulk Hogan? The Immortal One? Those guys are pretty awesome if you ask me. Well sure, I love Hogan to this day, despite his little backstage and personal problems, but I respect him for what he has done for the wrestling industry. Eric...Eric was a pretty cool heel GM and, I think, he knew karate. NINJA WARRIOR BABY! Um, no. Anyways, back on topic. Hogan and Eric came into TNA in October 2009 and TNA started to hit that decline. To be fair, even before these two, there were some pretty bad things prior to this. Example, that stupid cage match where Homicide couldn't climb out of the cage, and the Reverse Battle Royal. TNA was already wacky near the coming of the two, so, what went wrong? Hulk brought in his lovable friends, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Oh and Kevin Nash was already in TNA, so, what happened? The three of them got together to reform nW-I mean...to form "The Band." Well, that's pretty bad, but not that bad right? Of course not! 

Well, except for Scott Hall ended up getting released for legal reasons, so TNA tag titles are vacant again, that was fun. OH wait, it gets better. Who is TNA's hottest, new member? Jeffery Hardy. You know, the guy who got arrested for having a boatload (not actual number) of drugs. The six sided ring? Gone. Four sided ring, but with a ramp. I liked the ramp personally, I always thought it could be used for a lot of spots, but that didn't last long. TNA then decided, "Hey, let's take on Monday Night RAW!" That was a goo-oh wait no it wasn't. It was awful and didn't last long at all. What better way to start 2010, but with fail. First edition of Monday Night iMPACT featured so many cameos that would have put the latest Beastie Boys' music video to shame. Jeff Hardy shows his ugly mug and Shannon Moore. Oh and for record, the January 4th show (with Hardy) was, to my knowledge, the one that featured Homicide having no way out of the cage and just beat the fuck out of everyone. Fast foward, hey, Ric Flair. Oh...well, that can only mean one thing, old man blood fest. Fast forward more, oh hey, Scott Hall and X-Pac, awesome. Oh they beat up security, I don't think that was very nice or very legal. Oh well.

Oh hey Val Venis and the Nasty Boys. So at this time, AJ Styles is the champion, which I can get behind. I like Styles, but in April, Rob Van Dam takes the title. I like RVD, he is a good guy, I have nothing against this. Oh wait, he gets attacked by Abyss and suffers "SERIOUS INJURES" that forces TNA to vacant the title. Well, we've got some young talent who could easily contend for that belt, Sir Robert Terry Esquire, Shannon Moore, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, and some middle aged guys like Robert Roode and James Storm. TNA decides to host some kind of tournament to decide the champion, neat. Rob Terry loses in the first round to Jeff Hardy. That's kind of a bummer, but Hardy needs to be built up until the belt is even in his hands. Wait, what? Oh, he...he won and turned heel in the process by having Eric and Hogan help him win the title. So, Hardy, the champion, is friends with Eric and Hogan, the most powerful men in the company at the time. Well shit. However, there is a savior, one of my favorite wrestlers, Mr. Anderson!  Oh God, he won the title! This should be a good lengthy run, he is a good character to fight off Immortal, and his gimmick makes him really charismatic, so he can have others join him. Sadly, Mr. Anderson held the title for 35 days before losing to Hardy in a ladder match. Also, in this time frame, Sting is back and a heel, so that's pretty cool, I like Sting too. He turned face sometime and appeared as a surprise challenger in February for Hardy's belt and he won! Sweet!

A feud is brewing between these two and at Victory Road, Sting will defend his title against Immortal's Jeff Hardy in a No DQ match. Hardy being insanely crazy in the high flyer/hardcore section and Sting being old and bleedy, perfect. The rest of the PPV was pretty lackluster, Anderson/RVD #1 Contender match ended in a draw, so now this match better be 10 out of 5. Sting in the ring, here comes Hardy...here comes Hardy...here comes Hardy, oh, there he is. Is...is he moving in slow motion? Oh, maybe it is TNA. Now in the ring, here we go, aw, Hardy is trying to be a face and going to throw his shirt into the crowd :3. Okay Jeff, throw it anytime...no, really, anytime. No? Oh well, here comes Sting! YOU CAN'T HOLD ONTO THAT SHIRT FOREVER!


Oh, Sting, you look...sad? Disappointed? Sad? Oh well it is nothing. Here we go! Action! OH STING YOU SILLY FOOL! A pin THIS EARLY ON? Oh yo-3 count? What. Oh, now for Eric to run down and restart the match. Is...is that the TNA end show logo in the lower part of the screen? Oh. That's it. Well. Everyone suspected that Hardy was injured, stoned, drunk, tired, or a combination of all. TNA offered fans who ordered the PPV free access to the TNA Vault, I know what I would have spent mine on. VICTORY ROAD 2011 MAIN EVENT! Best ninety seconds of my life. Goodbye Hardy, oh what? Matt is here? Oh...well goodbye Jeff. Wait, what? Jeff is staying? Oh. Okay, well, he won't be on TV much anyways so that's fine. 

So now present day TNA. Chris Sabin is out, that sucks. Mr. Anderson is the champion, I can dig it, but he loses to some guy named Gunner on the iMPACT Wrestling following his championship win...okay. TNA: We can build up champions. Chris Harris (Brendan Walker FTW) and Matt Hardy are teaming against Beer Money, well, sorta. Robert Roode is "injured" as well, oh no, who will be the TNA Tag Team Champions now? The team of James Storm and Alex Shelley. I'll take it, I like both guys. TNA's  Knockout Division, need I really say anything? Have you really watched a TNA show and been like "Man...this needs more Knockout matches," or "Hey, this Knockouts match is MOTY!" If you have, you're a female or there is that one rare time. X-Division Champion, Hell, there are a lot of contenders for this. Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe, Kaz, Brian Kendrick, The Amazing Red, and the list goes on. Who is it? Abyss. Yeah, you know. The guy who use to not talk and was really badass then talked and just went downhill. Yeah, he is champion now. That's...yeah. However, TNA featured Austin Aries, Kid Kash, and Jimmy Rave in a triple threat match. I don't know whose idea that was, but they should be in charge of the creative team. So, they are trying to bring back the X-Division and they picked some good people to do so. Eric Young holds the TNA Television title, I'm indifferent on that, and do not care. Kudos to Young though. The Knockout champions, God help them.

Scott Steiner is back in TNA and his classic promos are back too! There is quite a lot about TNA that I left out, like Jeff Jarrett's MMA thing. The Hardcore Justice PPV and the ECW alumni showing around TNA for awhile, we almost got to see Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam too! Now, this post has been nothing, but negativity, with a few spots of me marking out for someone. So, in this next paragraph, I'll suggest somethings TNA needs to do.

First off, promote and build younger wrestlers. AJ Styles, Sting, RVD, Kurt Angle, and Jeff Jarrett (to name a few) won't always be around. Remember when D'Angelo Dinero was considered for a championship run? So do I, but where is he now? Helping Brother Devon with LAX knockoff Mexican America (real original name). Second, I'd restart the Knockouts division, the best thing to do is to actually sign women who have talent like Sara Del Rey and MsChif. Third, make interesting storylines, at the moment, I can't think of any interesting storyline in TNA at the moment. And last, but not least, don't get pushed around by Hulk Hogan, Russo, or Eric. Easy as that. Also, bonus image for all the lady Hardy fans.


Tasty.

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